Cry-Baby

Too young to be square... Too tough to be shocked... Too late to be saved

Such is the tag-line of the 1990 film, Cry-Baby, a movie I'd heard of over the years, but never seen until yesterday. In order to understand my reaction to the film, I believe it's necessary to understand the preconceived notions I had of it before yesterday.

So, I was a bit obsessed with Johnny Depp in high school, and championed films like Edward Scisorhands, Benny & Joon, and even Don Juan de Marco. While cyber-stalking my celeb crush, I came across pictures from cry-baby, but it was always the same picture--a tortured looking Depp, greased hair and leather jacket, with a single tear descending his cheek. From this, I deduced that the movie was about a greaser. I also saw short plot descriptions saying things like this one from IMDB: "Drape" (or Greaser) Wade Walker, also known as Cry-Baby for his ability to shed a single tear, falls head over heels for square Allison Vernon-Williams who, incidentally, is tired of being good." In my mind I pictured a cross between The Outsiders and Grease--an idea that was slightly shaken when a friend of mine referred to it as a musical, but not displaced.

That brings us to the time I sat down, on my own, and watched the movie, compliments of Hulu. It opens with a scene of high school kids waiting in line for immunizations of some kind, being given from the biggest needle I've ever seen. About two minutes in, the bubbly atmosphere is broken when a girl, admired by two boys, turns around to reveal the most repulsive face I've ever seen on a woman, made even worse by the contortions it went through as she talked, and the "switchblade" she carried (not really a switchblade as the blade was at least a foot long). At that point, I though, maybe this is just the intro?

I was mistaken. Things just got worse from there, and the introduction to cry-baby's hillbilly family (a cross between the Adams Family and Beverly Hillbillies) did not make things more pleasant. I realize now that the movie was a spoof, but that didn't make me feel any better about it. I sat through the whole thing, but it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I guess that's what I get for not figuring out exactly what I was getting myself into ahead of time. From now on I'll take a glance at the genre before seeing a film.