I was scrubbing my tub (something I do less frequently than I probably should) when I noticed a peculiarity in its shape. While I believe, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that most bathtubs are rectangular, perhaps oval if you're fancy, my bathtub is shaped like a nineteenth century coffin.
Surely you can see the resemblance and understand why I found this slightly unnerving. Why would anyone shape a tub like a coffin? Have the architects never seen Psycho? Do they not know that I already feel a sense of paranoia in the shower and that making such a distasteful visual reference only serves to increase that paranoia?
Seeking to justify the design, I lay down in the tub to see whether the wider width near the top was in any way helpful to the bathing process. As the tub is only 4 feet long, I found that it is not. I am forced to conclude that the makers of my bathtub have a sick sense of humor and want me to feel as though I'm being invited to sleep with the fishes (or, perhaps more fittingly, with the rubber duckies) on a regular basis.
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